Posts by Ashley:
One Word 365: Present
January 12th, 2013
There was not a single dull moment for me in 2012, that’s for sure. Last year brought me the best year of teaching I ever had, a few new blogging gigs, our new house, a failed attempt at publishing a book, a resolution not to spread myself too thin, and a host of decisions that have given me a clearer picture of what I want my life to look like.
For these reasons, 2012 was a wonderful, illuminating, and formative year, but the problem with having a year of huge changes like last year was is that all the shifting and decision-making makes it really difficult to just be present.
I found being present difficult last year for a number of reasons. First, even if I was doing something I loved, I was thinking about doing something else I loved. When I was teaching, I was thinking about articles to write or my book. When I was writing, I was thinking about spending time with Tim. When I was spending time with Tim, I was thinking about cleaning the house. OK, so maybe I didn’t love doing that last one, but it definitely gave me a sense of purpose. Not once do I remember being in the moment and loving it.
Second, is the great feeling of inadequacy that seems to be plaguing my late twenties. So many of my friends are doing huge and important things with their lives. Some friends are getting their PhD’s or second Masters, some are having babies, some are writing books, some are picking up everything to move across the country either for love or an amazing job opportunity. At some point in my life, I’ve idly or actively pursued all of these things, but gave up on all of them to get married, buy a house, adopt two dogs, teach high school English and do freelance writing on the side, and probably have a kid. Even though the decision to do these things has seemed monumental to me, and even though I know I’m doing amazing things, it never seems like enough. As I buy into my life path more and more, I still can’t help but feel that I should maybe be doing something more. I crave the presence of mind to be fully content with my choices and not feel as if I’m not doing enough.
In her book, Moving Beyond Words, Gloria Steinem says, “I’ve always had two tracks running in my head. THe pleasurable one was thinking forward to some future scene, imagining what should be, planning on the edge of fantasy. The other played underneath with all too realistic fragments of what I should have done. There it was in perfect microcosm, the past and future coming together to squeeze out the present – which is the only time in which we can be fully alive… These past and future tracks have gradually dimmed until they are rarely heard. More and more, there is only the full, glorious, alive-in-the-moment, don’t-give-a-damn yet caring-for-everything sense of the right now.” These words speak to me; I have spent so much time feeling as if things will be better at a certain point, but also regretting not taking the time to do something I wanted to do. My past and future most definitely squeeze out the present. I crave Steinem’s “full, glorious, alive-in-the-moment, don’t-give-a-damn yet caring-for-everything sense of the right now.” I crave the ability to be fully present in my life.
In lieu of a bunch of resolutions for 2013, I am going to focus on the word present as part of the One Word 365 challenge. I chose the word “present” because it has so many wonderful meanings. It is the space between the past and the future, it is a gift, and it is a state of being. I want to focus on all aspects of this word as the year goes on. Each week, I’ll check in here and let you know how it’s going. I hope that this will be an eye-opening, yet centering exercise for me, and I’m glad to have you all along for the ride.
Are you taking part in One Word 365? If so, share your word in the comments! If not, it’s never too late to start!
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FOBC Edition 7 Posted and Submissions Open for Edition 8!
January 8th, 2013
The seventh edition of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival is now posted at our feminist {play} school! It has a bunch of WONDERFUL posts about one of my favorite topics: Women and Literature, so go check it out!
We had a little problem with deadlines and our January host, so I am going to host the next blog carnival in mid-February (on Valentine’s Day, in fact!) about Feminism and Love. The deadline for submissions will be February 8, and it will be posted on February 14. You can get more info here, and submit your posts here.
Happy writing!
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Tension Can Be Fun, But Relationships Are Too
January 6th, 2013I am a self-professed crime drama television show geek. It started with Law & Order: SVU during one winter break when I was ridiculously sick and watched about three seasons in three days since I couldn’t leave my bed and it happened to be streaming on Netflix. Then, I moved to the police-and-quirky-consultant sub genre with shows like Bones, Castle, and Psych. (There are spoilers in this post, so if you’re watching on Netflix, don’t read ahead!) I devour these shows like it’s my job, whether I’m watching them on Netflix or catching up with reruns on other networks or adding reminders to my iPhone to tune in to the latest episode each week.
I’m not sure what draws me to these shows. I’m not particularly a fan of gruesome crime drama, nor do I enjoy crime novels in my spare time (with the exception of the Nikki Heat series credited to the fictional Richard Castle – I’m on #4 right now), so I’m sure it’s not that I just enjoy a good murder mystery. I think what attracts me to these shows are the characters. I loved Bones’ Temperance Brennan and her “Squints” for their genius and quirky behaviors as well as Seeley Booth for his caricature of machismo but with a definite soft side. I giggled through Castle with its juxtaposed gender norms (a badass female cop and a childish writer following her around). I have watched every episode of Psych at least twice because Shawn and Gus’s ability to play off each other is so spontaneous and unexpected that I find I don’t remember every joke like I do with other comedy shows.
Good characters aren’t enough to attract me to a television show, though. I need substance, and I need good chemistry. All of these shows are interesting and smart but, more importantly, the characters work well together. There is a balance of seriousness and humor, just like in life. The characters grow and change together, as they learn from each other. And, in a new trend, these characters are entering relationships with one another. Brennan and Booth have a baby together, Castle and Beckett start dating after a series of near-death experiences force them to realize they love each other, and Shawn and Juliet start the most serious relationship either of them have had on the show.
What I love about this trend is that it shows that important, long-term relationships can take center stage and that they don’t end the show but rather add another layer to it. Part of the great chemistry I saw between the characters was the tension between the obvious love interests. Historically, these characters would have been kept single so as not to diminish their appeal and, also, because entering a relationship is often portrayed as a death sentence both for characters and for a television show. With these shows, writers are exploring new possibilities for these characters, making them even more relatable and likable, and allowing for pop culture to finally show us life beyond singledom and sexual tension doesn’t make you less desirable. It just makes you human.
Granted, we still have a long way to go when talking about same-sex or interracial relationships, but I do think this is a step in the right direction.
Image Credit: Zap2It
Resources for Starting Your Own Group For Girls
January 4th, 2013If you’ve followed this blog for any length of time, you know that I started a group for girls called Fearless Females at the school where I work. It has been awesome and transformative for me, and I hope it has been a similar experience for the girls who attend every week, as well as the fantastic visitors we’ve had come and speak to the girls.
I’ve received a lot of questions about how to start a group like this, and what to talk about once the group gets started, so I put together a resource page to help!
Click here for Fearless Females: Resources for Starting Your Own Group for Girls. Check back often, because I’ll update the page frequently! I’m also planning on doing a writeup of our meetings once a week, so subscribe to the site to get the latest updates.
Image Credit: ctrouper
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A Resolution of No
December 31st, 2012
Every year since we’ve met, Tim and I have had an epic New Year’s Eve. Usually, that just means going to a friend’s house and hanging out or, for the past few years, we’ve had people over to our apartment in impromptu gatherings that – as it usually goes – turn out to be way more fun than anything else we could have done.
I love a good party, and I especially love throwing a good party, but about a month ago after a full weekend of Thanksgivings (we have three family celebrations on any given holiday), I looked at Tim with tears of exhaustion in my eyes and told him I didn’t want to do anything for New Year’s Eve. I just wanted to go out and have a nice dinner and come home to watch the ball drop with our puppies and some sparkling wine. His reaction could only be described as grateful, because he wanted to do the same.
I’m not usually one to pass on social events. During most of my childhood and well into my teenage years, I often felt left out of friend circles. I’ve never really been anyone’s best friend (here is a great article on that issue), and I don’t have a sister to confide all of my girly problems in, so when people invite me to do things, I rarely turn them down because I hate feeling left out. If I’m being completely honest with myself here, I am still really hurt when my friends do stuff and don’t invite me, even though they are doing things that I wouldn’t want to do and that’s probably why they didn’t invite me in the first place. Because of this, you’ll rarely find me turning down invitations to functions, even when I’m exhausted and would rather just take a load off at home with the dogs. This often takes so much time away from my home life, and from Tim and my time together that it can put a strain on our relationship.
But this year, despite the multitude of invitations for events, Tim and I decided to take it easy. Now that I’ve been super sick since Christmas, I’m realizing we would have had to do this anyway, but I’m glad we made the decision beforehand. We are going out to a late but really nice dinner close to home, and then we’re going to come home and enjoy some sparkling wine while we watch people partying on television. And I’m more excited to do that than I have ever been to attend a NYE party.
Part of my resolution for the new year is to take better care of myself and spend more time on myself. This means the standard eating better and working out more, but also doing more writing and spending more time at home, relaxing. This semester has been difficult with all of the changes going on at our school as well as trying to adapt to our new house and the new dog, and it has left me without a lot of time to relax. I think the stress of it all has been a major contributing factor to my anxiety levels and sudden acne problems, and certainly to the fact that I have had a debilitating illness that has rendered me unable to leave the couch for the past few days. To think, I used to take Sundays as Tim and my day to, well, be Tim and me. We’d wake up, have a great breakfast, maybe take a hike at a local trail. Now, it’s packed with house duties and paper grading at levels I’ve never experienced before. On top of that, I find myself wanting to maintain my level of social activity like I did before. Not only is this stressing me out, but it’s taking important time away from me and Tim.
In this new year, I want to take better care of myself, and I think part of what goes along with that is not being afraid to say “no.” I need to trust that my friends will still be there, the house will get cleaned, and I’ll still be able to do all of the things I want to do if I take a day off every once in a while to chill out at home. In fact, doing so might actually make my friends like me better and make me more energized for other tasks at hand. I think it will also help me to realize that the most important thing right now is my relationship with my husband. Yes, friends are vital, but so is my marriage. The rest can wait.
I’m starting off 2013 by saying “no.” How are you starting the New Year?
Image Credit: –JvL-
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Submissions for the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival Still Open!
December 31st, 2012
Submissions for the next edition of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival at our feminist {play} school are still open! We decided to extend the deadline until January 6 so people could celebrate their winter holidays and take much needed blogging breaks, so write your posts about Women in Literature and submit them today!
You can get more info here, guidelines here, and submit posts here.
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Sandy Hook Shooting: They’re Just Babies
December 21st, 2012It sounds cliché, but I will always remember that, on December 14, 2012, I was sitting in our building’s athletic office preparing for the conference speech tournament when I heard the news that 20 children and 6 adults had been shot by a man who then took his own life in Newtown, CT.
It was horrifying news. But when I heard the entire school was comprised of kindergarden through fourth graders, it was unspeakable.
The woman who was helping me stuff packets and make copies for the tournament turned to me and said quietly, “They’re just babies.”
They’re just babies. This would ring throughout my head for the rest of the weekend. They’re just babies.
They probably had cool shoes that lit up when they jumped up and down and favorite colors and teddy bears they didn’t want to leave behind when they went to school but did because they didn’t want to look uncool going to school with stuffed animals in their backpacks. They probably had presents underneath their family Christmas trees.
They’re just babies.
I couldn’t even imagine. I can’t even imagine.
So I did what I knew how to do. I pressed on. I planned the tournament. I stuffed packets and met student volunteers after school who helped me hang signs. It wasn’t until later, when we had some downtime, that I asked them if they had seen the news at all. “About that school shooting?” they asked. “Yea. We saw it.” They didn’t seem to want to say anything more, so I didn’t press. Then I went home, ran around doing a million different errands because if I sat down, it would really sink in. When I woke up in the morning, I grabbed Tim like he was the only thing that could keep me afloat.
“They were just babies,” I cried, tears wetting his t-shirt. We were still in bed, and he was still groggy, but he pulled me close.
“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”
I took a deep breath and moved on, already late to get ready for the tournament. I let the shower wash away what it could, and promised myself I’d deal with the rest later.
The tournament went well, and I am sure I walked about 10 miles around the school throughout the course of the day. It was good to have a distraction. We picked up the dogs from my in-laws, because Tim worked the tournament, too, and my mother-in-law said, “You look tired. But you did a good thing. Now is the time we need to invest in our kids the most.” I could just nod. When I got home, I purposely didn’t turn on the television. I feel right asleep.
I got up the next day, determined to relax. Then, I cleaned my house because I can’t relax until everything is clean. Afterwards, I settled down with my book. Devil in the White City. And I read a passage about how he shoved a young woman into his basement kiln and burned her to death.
And I put the book down.
Because here’s the thing. This book that made the New York Times bestseller list and who everyone I know tells me they couldn’t put down, but they could have skipped all the stuff about the fair and just read the stuff about the serial killer – it has just added to the hype and media that has immortalized every serial killer and mass murderer throughout history. Now, a whole new generation who never heard of H.H. Holmes knows exactly who he was and what he did. He’s been infamized and glamorized and made into a novel people forget is actually true. I wonder if Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, James Holmes, Wade Michael Page, and Adam Lanza will be written about and perceived in the same way. I hope not.
But these women actually died at the hands of H.H. Holmes. And these people actually died at the hands of these other mass murderers. But instead of reading books like Dave Cullen’s Columbine about how the media just looks for the best story then moves away instead of getting the whole picture and also immortalizes the victims rather than just the killers, we’re devouring books about a mass murderer in our history who led women to awful, unspeakable deaths. I can imagine that, in 100 years, people might be reading the same thing about Harris and Klebold, J. Holmes, Page, and Lanza.
As a nation, we will now turn to debates about gun control and mental illness. We will work towards policies that help those involved in such a tragedy. While there is valor in that, we also need to consider the teachers and students in this nation and how to better protect them.
Because they were just babies.
Like I told my students on Monday, I don’t care if you’re 8 years old or 80, you’re too young for something like this to take away your life.
I’m not just saying this because I am a teacher and I have 132 students this year and countless others in years past that I care about deeply. I’m saying this because these sorts of things seem to happen most often in schools, and it’s time we focus our attention on how to keep our students and teachers safe. School is supposed to be safe. Our babies are supposed to be safe.
After a tragedy like this, I always make sure to talk to my students and help them feel empowered and ready to do something to help rather than beat down and scared. Some students wanted to donate money, and I helped them find ways they can do that. When we get back to school, we’ll be making snowflakes to send to Newtown to help welcome the children back to school.
I also told them to remember the victims, not the murderer. I told them to do something nice or say something nice to someone that day because, no matter who you are – a student, a parent, a teacher – going back to school was difficult. I believe they did just that, and they will continue to do so because, no matter how old they are, they’re still just babies, and they still just want to help.
For myself, I have to believe that out of a tragedy comes love. When I walk into my classroom and see my students eager to make the world a better place, I know that this is true.
Photo Credit: woodleywonderworks
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Review: Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
December 10th, 2012
Bitter is the New Black : Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office by Jen Lancaster
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
I checked out Jen Lancaster’s memoir, Bitter is the New Black, from my library and put it on my phone to enjoy while I drove to and from work. I expected that it would be a snarky, fun account of Lancaster’s descent into the ranks of the poor and back again, and I hoped that it would be a good book to listen to, and that it would help me decompress after long days of heavy conversations about literature with my high school students.
Well, I was partially right. The book was a snarky account of Lancaster’s woes as she went through two years of unemployment and came out of it a writer. It was not, however, fun or good to listen to, nor did it help me decompress in the least. It was also not as uplifting as you might think from a book about someone on the top of her game but completely egocentric who loses everything and comes out of it a “better person.”
While the book was snarky and sarcastic, it was far from funny. There were a few moments when I found myself laughing out loud – most of them during the depiction of her wedding preparations – but other than that, I mostly felt on edge while listening to her anecdotes. The trouble I had with the book went deeper than the fact that it wasn’t all that funny, though, and lies in the fact that Lancaster is the least reliable of narrators. She set out to tell her story, which is an important one, but she also set out to make herself look as good as possible, and she did that not by actually ending up as a good person at the end of her book, but by making herself look so incredibly bad at the beginning that any improvement would have made her look like a saint in the end. I actually don’t believe she changed at all; she just moved out of her posh apartment and sold all of her haute couture stuff. Anyone who would turn down an awesome job that they actually really needed in order to pay the bills in order to write, even if her husband has a job that can support them, is still a bit selfish for my liking. By her own admission, her husband was doing well, but they were not even close to out of debt. While I respect the urge to write and/or switch jobs, I could not ever justify turning down a job to start writing when my family desperately needed the money.
I also think her choice of vocabulary later in the book shows just how little her personality changed. Just as an example, when she was temping and heard people talking about her in the bathroom, she says something to the extent of, “Normally, I would have gone all Columbine on them.” Any person who is a truly good person would not use the term “Columbine” to describe their usual verbal slashing of offenders. It will always be too soon for that joke.
Add all of this to an unrefined and juvenile writing style, and I wasn’t too impressed to say the least. The writing style was so juvenile, in fact, and she dropped so many name brands, I found myself wondering if she was paid for product placement in her book. I wouldn’t put it past her.
I debated about whether to give this book two stars or three, and ended up going with three because, while it was overly snarky and sarcastic and all about her, it never pretended to be something it wasn’t. Right from the title it was clear that she was self-centered and condescending, and the cover art screams “chick lit.” It was just that, and never tried to be insightful literature. I went into this one eyes wide open, and I wasn’t surprised – either pleasantly or negatively. It just was what it was, though I certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone I know.
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Crafty, DIY Holiday Wreaths
December 9th, 2012Part of my handmade holiday decorations this hear has included hand-making wreaths. The best part about these is that they can be made to match any color scheme and any decor. I decided to go neutral this holiday season with gold and silver and accented by snowflakes so I can leave some of my decorations up after Christmas. They are also super easy to make, and relatively inexpensive. I think I spent a total of $40 on the supplies for this wreath, but that also gave me enough to make garland for my house (which you can see here), as well. Best of all, they’re totally unique, and you can add as many layers and accents as you want to match your style.
Here is the tutorial I followed for the wreaths, and this is the one for my garland. See? Easy!
Now for some pictures. First up, my winter wreath in gold and silver with a nice tail and a golden snowflake:
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’m making everyone’s Christmas gifts this year, so this one is for my dad. I used my leftovers from my winter wreath because his color scheme is similar to mine:
Since I like to have things that match, I made a smaller wreath for my bathroom:
And, to match even more, I created a centerpiece for my table. The great thing about this stuff is that you can make them any size you want:
Here is the wreath I made for my mother-in-law. She loves blue china and has blue and white throughout her whole house, so I thought these colors would work best:
This is the one I made for my mom. It’s one of my favorites because of the bright teal! Her whole house is grey and white with pops of teal, so I thought this one would be nice on her door:
You can make these wreaths with any colors for any season, too. Here is my fall wreath, complete with burlap ribbon and sparkly leaf ornaments:
I made nice centerpieces with my fall materials, as well:
These are super fun to make, and make great gifts. Since I can’t keep a secret, I gave my mom and mother-in-law theirs already, and they really love them! They even hung them up already. I’m honored and excited to make more for other occasions!
So, if I decided to sell these things, would anyone buy them? 🙂
Happy Handmade Holiday Decorations!
December 6th, 2012I’ve been a busy bee making a bunch of stuff this holiday season. I’ve decided to make all of the Christmas gifts we’re giving this year in an effort to boycott consumerism (more on that later – I don’t want to give away any surprises!) but I’m also really enjoying making holiday decorations for our new home. This is the first holiday season in our new home, so I’ve really enjoyed decorating. Here are some fun pictures of my homemade decorations!
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Submissions Open for the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival Seventh Edition
December 2nd, 2012
Submissions are officially open for the seventh edition of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival! The theme for this month is Women in Literature, and it will be hosted by Our Feminist {Play} School. The deadline is December 20, so get writing!
You can find more information here.
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Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival: Sixth Edition
November 28th, 2012
The Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival Sixth Edition on Feminism and Activism is up! There are some awesome posts, so check it out!
Next month’s carnival will be hosted at Our Feminist {Play} School, and the theme will be Women in Literature. Submit your posts soon!
Writing, Activism, and an Audience
November 27th, 2012This post was written for the November Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival on Feminism and Activism hosted at Diary of an Accident Prone Feminist.
Writing – blogging, tweeting, facebooking, tumbling, or however you do it, is undoubtedly a form of activism. I’ve felt this way for a long time, and it’s why I started this blog in the first place. In fact, I wrote my entire master’s thesis on literacy in the feminist blogging community and I ardently argued that blogging is a form of activism similar to the pamphlets used to disseminate information by early feminists, and that literacy practices form a community of activists that is stronger together than apart.
I think I made a pretty good argument. It was enough to get me accepted to the Contemporary Women’s Writing Network conference in San Diego in 2010. But my question now, though, is does writing still count as activism if you’re not doing it for an audience? If there is no one to read your activist thoughts, do they still count as activism? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound, if you will?
I’ve been struggling a lot lately with writing in general (as you may have noticed my lack of updates here). I started writing to make a difference and to find a way to be an activist in my community and beyond. I was fortunate enough to land a gig at Gender Across Borders where my audience widened considerably, and after that, I moved on to Care2 and Teaching Tolerance where my audience widened even more. More audience means more influence means I’m a better activist, right?
It would make sense if this were true. Common sense dictates that the more people reading your stuff, the more of a difference you are making. But how do you say to someone who has a blog with a modest following that they aren’t making as much of a difference, or they aren’t being as much of an activist, as someone who has followers upon followers? In the same vein, how do you say to someone who works to raise her son to be conscious of masculinity and women’s rights or her daughter to be a feminist without writing about it that she isn’t making as much of a difference as she could? Aren’t both the blogger and the mother doing their small part to improve their corner of the world? Aren’t they both doing important work? Isn’t that really all we can ask of anyone? I would argue that one is not more of an activist than another in these situations, and that neither are more or less activists than someone who has made activism a career.
The audience for my writing has certainly grown throughout the years, but it is this very audience that has been hindering my activism, and the writing itself. Lately, I haven’t been writing very much because I feel like my whole world is a stage. I have an audience at my teaching job – and a new one each hour of the day, at that. I have an audience when I go home and decide to cook dinner or do some craft project I saw on Pinterest or decorate for some holiday or even when I clean the house – the majority of these things I do for me, but also to prove to others that I can hold down the perfect house and the perfect family. When I get up in the morning, I have an audience in mind when I put together my outfit and do my hair. So when it comes to sitting down to write for an audience, I either get to the end of the day and don’t feel like having an audience for one more second, or I have plenty of things I want to say, but am afraid to say them because I don’t know what my audience might think of me for doing so.
In a world that is so obsessed with blog stats, followers, and friend counts, we need to shift our thinking. It doesn’t matter how many retweets, likes, or shares we get. What matters is what we are saying, and if we are able to make our corner of the world a better place. In my teaching, I always say that if I reach one kid each year, it’s been a good year. Well, with each article I write, if I get one person to think about a new issue or an old one in a different way, I’m an activist. We don’t need an audience to make a real difference in the world.
Image Credit: matryosha
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5 Books Every Teenager Should Read
November 19th, 2012
The Huffington Post ran a piece yesterday about the five books every high school student should read before going to college. It was a pretty good list, and I agree that most of those books are incredibly important for teenagers, but I couldn’t help but think, if I had five books to give my students that they HAD to read, what would they be? Here is what I came up with:
1. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
This classic coming-of-age novel also made it to the HuffPost list, and I couldn’t agree more. Even though Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury was the most formative book of my pre-high school life, Catcher is the most formative of my young adult life. In this book, Holden Caulfield fails out of his fancy prep school (and not for the first time, either), and decides to blow off his final exams (because he’s failed anyway), and explore New York City on his own. He is lonely and depressed because of the previous death of his little brother, and he searches for human contact in every place he can think of to find it, only to realize that, before anyone can help him, he has to help himself. This book is important for teenagers because many of them identify with Holden on a deeply personal level. So many teenagers either are Holden or know someone who is, and the book can be used to teach compassion, understanding, and the effects of depression on the youth of America. It’s as timely now as it ever was.
2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Like Catcher, Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a coming-of-age novel about a teenage boy, but this one has a modern twist on it. Charlie, a shy and maladusted high school freshman, has suffered many traumatic events leading up to his first day of high school. His best friend has killed himself, his favorite aunt has passed away, and he has suffered countless other injustices, making him turn inward. When he starts high school, though, he befriends several seniors who show him the world of parties, music, and the perks of being an individual rather than fitting in with the crowd.Perks is a great read for teenagers, especially young high school students, because everyone feels like the don’t quite fit in at some point in their lives, and hearing that it does, in fact, get better can be empowering for students of any age.
3. Columbine by Dave Cullen
Students are going to school in a post-Columbine world. They have to do lockdown drills and, frankly, live with the fear that this might happen at any time. In order to help prevent fear, and prevent future tragic events in schools, it is vital for students to know what really happened at Columbine High School that fateful day in April 1999. Furthermore, many of these students are too young to remember the Columbine tragedy in any detail because today’s high school freshmen were only two years old at the time. Reading this book will give them perspective on the tragedy they might not otherwise get from teachers, parents, or urban legends. On top of that,Columbinediscusses important issues the media had while covering the tragedy. Even if nothing like this happens to students again (and, hopefully, it doesn’t), students will most likely (unfortunately) experience another national tragedy in their lifetimes.Columbine teaches us important lessons about media literacy, and brings to the forefront some great talking points about what we can – and can’t – believe from the media. In an age of constant media bombardment, this book is especially important for teenagers.
4. Reality Bites Back by Jennifer Pozner
Similarly to Columbine, Jennifer Pozner’s Reality Bites Back discusses media literacy, but in a much different way. Reality Bites Back looks at reality television, which is ubiquitous in our society. When my students tell me they don’t watch reality television, I ask them how they avoid it because it is literally everywhere. In an age where students are shown reality television shows, and also are sold some product or service at every turn – including within the very shows themselves – it is vital for students to know what they are actually consuming when it comes to media. Reality Bites Back breaks down the issues with reality television, from gender and race issues to product placement and the way media companies trick us into thinking these shows are popular. In this day and age, with television a major source of information for our students, this book should be on every bookshelf.
5. A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansbury
Even though it’s a play and not technically a book,A Raisin in the Sunby Lorraine Hansbury is one of my all-time favorites. Based on Hansbury’s own experiences with racism and sexism in the 1950’s, this play depicts a Black family of five living in a cramped, two-bedroom apartment in Chicago. They experience a windfall in the form of an insurance check because of the death of the family’s patriarch. Everyone has plans for this money, which brings in interesting and important notions of class and race, and how the two were tied together for much of our nation’s history. When one of the female characters wants to use the money to go to medical school, there are also issues of sexism brought to the forefront. This play has important messages regarding discrimination in our society that students need to know before they leave high school, and it is also important to note that this sort of thing wasn’t happening all that long ago in our history – and still continues today in many cases.
Now you’ve read my picks. What are yours?
Images Credit: Goodreads.com; Featured Image Credit: Ashley Lauren
Is It OK To End A Friendship Over Politics? (Care2)
November 14th, 2012
I’m still on the fence about this one, honestly, but I wrote about it for Care2:
Whatever the reason, people I didn’t even know had any political affiliations have come out of the woodwork to share their beliefs and, while their beliefs are being shared on Facebook, their opinions have permeated our real-life friendships. As someone who has always had very strong political views, I am finding that I vehemently disagree with many of my friends with whom I’ve never had so much as a tiny argument before. I’m finding that these disagreements are tainting our friendships, and making it difficult to spend time together or even chat over the phone because the discussion will, inevitably, shift toward the political.
What is a person to do when they find they disagree with their friends about politics? Do they give up a lifetime of friendship just because one is a Democrat and one is a Republican?
Check out the whole article here.
What do you think? Have you lost any friends this election season?
Eggsurance
November 14th, 2012So, this is a thing:
I can’t say that I’m surprised. In a culture that is obsessed with babies and women’s age, it only makes sense that someone would try to make money off of making women feel like they need to insure themselves against age-related infertility. Maybe I should look into this since, you know, I’m almost 30 and not pregnant. </sarcasm>
Thanks, Janni, for tweeting me this photo!
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Sexist Homework
November 13th, 2012
As a teacher who fights every day against gender stereotypes and sexism, it offends me to the core of my being to hear stories like this one about kids who try to subvert gender norms and are punished because of it:
Based on the image alone, Bowler tweeted that it looked like his daughter’s class was asked to sort activities and products like “Barbies” and “Erector sets” into gender columns. She crowded all the answers into a column labeled “Both,” and the teacher wrote at the bottom, “We talked about how each square needs to be filled in.”
“My wife brought [the worksheet] to my attention Friday night when we were looking through her schoolwork folder,” Bowler told HuffPost via email, adding that his daughter hadn’t complained about the assignment herself.
The article goes on to speculate that the assignment might have been used to call attention to gender stereotypes to foster discussion about how our society tries to fit people into little boxes.
Unfortunately, according to Steve Bowler, the dad of the girl who had to do this assignment for homework, found this wasn’t the case. He tweeted: “So, anticlimactic update: teacher tried to use the gender bias in the book/story as subject of the sorting worksheet. Old teacher, bad idea.”
It’s honestly teachers like this that give those of us working through a social justice lens a bad name. People have this image of teachers as old, stodgy conservatives who refuse to change their thinking as time goes on, and also refuse to look at situations outside of “right” or “wrong.”
While I can see the validity of asking young students to categorize things, I don’t know why it had to be categorizing “boy things” and “girl things,” even if it did go along with the story they were reading. Such assignments, without follow up questions like, “Do you believe it is right to categorize things this way?” or “What problems does this cause in our society?” only serve to solidify gender stereotypes rather than question them. The younger the student, the more explicitly you have to ask these questions; it’s not enough to imply that these stereotypes are problematic because you risk teaching acceptance rather than critical questioning.
It seems, even if this assignment could have paved the way for interesting class discussion – even (and especially) among younger students – that this was not even the goal of the teacher, which is unfortunate. Fortunately, though, it seems like the parents had an all-star moment where they not only taught their daughter that these stereotypes are unjust, but also that it’s OK to fail an assignment in the name of social justice.
Image Credit: Huffington Post
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Pressure to be Pregnant
November 12th, 2012I’m not pregnant.
Lately, I feel like I have to wear a t-shirt with these words emblazoned on it so people can stop skirting around the issue.
I’ve noticed you haven’t been blogging so much recently. Any particular reason?
Oh, you and Tim bought a new car with a huge trunk. Any particular reason?
What are you drinking there? Just water? Any particular reason?
I’ve been asked these questions outright. All within the last month, and sometimes more than once. I wish I were kidding.
Yes, there are particular reasons for all of these things. I haven’t been blogging so much recently because I’ve got two steady paid writing gigs and, since this one makes me diddly squat, it often takes a backseat when I also have a brand new curriculum I’m teaching at school (not to mention the rest of my full-time teaching responsibilities), a new dog (plus the old one), a new house, and the holidays coming up. Oh yea, and a husband I like to spend time with once every few weeks. Tim and I bought a new car because he had been driving his since 2005 and it had almost 100,000 miles on it, so you do the math there; the big trunk was a bonus. And for the love of Pete, I’m drinking water because I’m thirsty and I didn’t realize I had to have a glass of wine at every single moment. Leave. Me. Alone.
I, for one (because, apparently, I’m the only one), don’t understand why people A) are so obsessed with babies, B) are so obsessed with me having one, and C) are watching for made-up tell-tale signs that I’m pregnant rather than just chilling out until I share the news myself.
Kate Middleton and Jennifer Anniston, I feel your pain. I might not have paparazzi following me around looking for a baby bump, but it sure feels like it sometimes.
Y’all know me, so you know I’ve written often about remaining childfree. It’s sort of my thing. Call me crazy, but I firmly believe that women and men should have a choice about when – and whether or not – they want to alter their lives forever by bringing a child into the world. For all of my philosophizing on the issue, I’ve always known that Tim and I probably would eventually have children; I just wanted people to back off and let me do it on my own timeframe. And, even if we do have kids, I’m certainly not going to pressure other people to do it. While Tim and I are now almost sure we will, at some point, produce a little Samberts, we are also sure we don’t want to do it now. We’ll do it when we’re ready.
You’re never really ready! Don’t wait until you’re 100% ready because that time will never come!
Yup, I’ve heard that one, too. I can’t tell you how vehemently I disagree with that sentiment. There may always be reasons to have a kid and to not have a kid, but I do believe that you get to the point where you are 100% ready, and that point is when either the pros of having a child outweigh or totally eclipse the cons. I’m 100% sure that I’m not there yet, and I’m also 100% sure that jumping in to having a kid before you’re ready because “you’re never really ready” is just going to exacerbate the fact that you’re not really ready. So we are going to wait until we’re at least more ready than we are now, thankyouverymuch.
For now, I’m going to get another degree of some sort, plan a few vacations, and live the life my husband and I have worked so hard to build. It might be a placeholder, or the calm before the storm, but I’m going to enjoy it.
Photo Credit: futurestreet
Princess is not a Career
November 12th, 2012I love this. Sesame Street is so progressive!
“Abby, pretending to be a princess is fun, but it is definitely not a career.”
Featured Image Credit: seelensturm
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I voted!
November 7th, 2012I forgot to post this yesterday, but here is proof I voted! We didn’t get stickers like many other people I saw. Not going to lie, I was a little bummed about that.
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