Small Strokes Big Oaks

Remember how I just told you all how busy I am right now and how I was starting to get things under control? Well, this weekend there was a fire in our apartment building.

Everyone’s safe, and it wasn’t our actual apartment, so all of our stuff is safe, too; it happened in one of the other units. But things didn’t work the way they’re supposed to in a fire. To make a long story short, the sprinkler system in that unit didn’t activate properly, and then when it did finally start, it flooded that unit, as well as the unit and garage below it. Then, the fire department couldn’t get into the building right away because so many people were illegally parked in front of our building because the management company hasn’t done anything about the parking problem – namely, that there is no parking for residents because people have their friends over and let them park and stay wherever they want.

A very frustrating and scary situation, indeed.

So, Tim and I immediately started looking for a new place to live because this is the last straw with the place we’re in now. In two days, we found one, put in an application for it, and began negotiations with the landlord. It was a gorgeous, 4-bedroom 1.5-bathroom ranch in the ‘burbs for not much more per month than we’re paying now. With a fenced-in yard. Gorgeous and very exciting.

We knew the landlords had rejected other applicants for offering less per month than they’d asked, so we offered the full amount. They came back and said fine, but then told us a host of other things we needed to pay for: a month an a half of rent for the security deposit; $500 additional for the pet deposit; also, we had to move in now – no waiting until April 1 like we wanted, because we have to give our apartment 60 days notice. And they won’t budge.

Keep in mind, also, that we have to pay for 60 days of our rent at the place we’re in now no matter what, and we may have to pay a fee to break our lease. We could try to get out of that considering the problems we’ve had with this place, but there’s no guarantee. So, when it’s all said and done, we’re looking to pay about $5,000 just to move two months before our lease is up.

We started this process emotionally. We were fed up and ready to go. We were going to move in June anyway, but we wanted to push up the date because the safety issues seemed worse than they were before. But, in reality, nothing is any worse than it was. The fire started because someone was cooking something and not paying attention. It wasn’t electrical; it was just someone being stupid, I’m sure. And that risk was always there, so to pay that much money to move a few months early just seems silly.

But there’s another side to this, too. I’m torn about this decision in general, because it means spending another year in more or less the same suburb I’m in now and the same area in which I grew up. Our original plan was to move to a downtown area, closer to the city and close to a train station, and this just shook it all up.

The problem is that I see my life going two different ways. In one, we move nearer to the city in a cute, downtown area that has great shops and restaurants and just have fun. In that scenario, I write my book or start my PhD or do something else equally intellectual and liberal. Behind door number two, we rent a place near where we are, everything stays the same, and we move forward with our suburban lives – buy a house in a year, have a kid in two, etc. I want all of these things in my life, but I can’t have them all at the same time.

I am putting too much stock into where we live, I know. I can still write my book and start my PhD and all of that where we are now. But it just seems that we have this tunnel vision toward buying a house in a year, and I’m not sure where that came from. I’m not ready to buy. Buying means permanent. Buying means we won’t ever live in the city or near the city – not for many, many years, at least. And that just makes me sad.

I guess I have a lot of issues to work out before I can truly find home sweet home.

Thanks for letting me vent, internet. 😉