Overload
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This week, I have been on overload. You may have guessed by my absence here.
Seriously, though, I’ve been doing too much. The way I see it, I have four separate things going on in my life:
- Blogging and writing (here, at GAB, some copywriting for pay, and a few random posts elsewhere)
- Teaching
- Extra curriculars at school (Contest Play and Fearless Females)
- A really huge project I’m not quite ready to talk about yet
Oh yea, and I have a life, too. Which is, you know, important. So, clearly, I’ve taken on way too much. And when I take on way too much, I get panicky and work really, really hard, but I don’t work really, really smart. Meaning I try to do absolutely everything at once, which makes me panic more, which makes me want to do absolutely nothing at all. This usually leads me to try to quit things without really thinking the choice through, or to disappear completely. Hence, my absence here.
I had a heart-to-heart with Tim last night about it all. He is always my cheerleader. He tells me I can do anything and everything and supports my hair-brained ideas to start really huge projects I’m not quite ready to talk about yet. Yesterday, I told him I knew I could do anything, but that I didn’t have to do everything, and I needed him to tell me if I was trying to do too much. You know what he said?
“You’re trying to do too much.”
And you know what that felt like?
RELIEF.
Of course I’m trying to do too much. LOOK AT THAT LIST! One of those things alone would be too much, and I’ve got four plus a life with family and friends, for cryin’ out loud. I can’t even find time to get my hair cut or, you know, sleep, let alone spend time with my husband and dog.
But my problem is that if I set arbitrary goals for myself and don’t meet them, I feel like I’ve failed. But last night, Tim helped me realize that these arbitrary goals are, well, arbitrary and I can adjust them as needed. So I did some adjusting. I decided to meet with my Fearless Females every other week instead of every week, and I took a look at my deadlines for my really huge project I’m not quite ready to talk about yet, and realized that all parties needed a bit of an extension, so I gave everyone some extra time. (And I was overwhelmed by emails of relief from my participants! It was fate!) Now, I’m starting to feel like I can manage things without hating everything I’m doing and resenting the time I am spending away from my family.
And the beautiful thing about this arrangement? It will all still get done. Just not right now. But it will! And that makes me happy. 🙂
