I’m Not Nice
Yesterday, I held my first rehearsal for the Contest Play, and I started by telling the students on my cast a little bit about myself. In my opinion, the most important detail I shared was that I am not nice.
When I said this, the students laughed. I just shrugged and said, “I’m not. And I think that’s really important for you to know.”
I went on to explain to them what I am, instead of nice: I’m honest, and I call it like it is. If you give a shoddy performance, I’ll tell you. But if I tell you gave a good performance, you’ll know I really meant it.
The students looked uncomfortable with this, and one student even asked me why I thought it was important for them to know this about me. So I told him.
I truly believe that most people – especially students – expect female teachers to be nurturing and motherly. Of course, this makes sense because teaching is a profession in which the majority (82% in 2005) are women, and in which those women deal with children. One might then assume that teachers are supposed to sooth and comfort rather than give honest and critical feedback. I, however, disagree. I am here to make sure my students learn and grow, and in a setting in which I am a coach and they are competing, we don’t have time for soothing and comforting. These students are here because they want to win, and I, also, want to win. So I am going to do what it takes.
When a male teacher criticizes, students often either do what he says or roll their eyes. If it is a coach that asks them to jump, they ask “How high?” In my experience, women coaches are perceived differently. When they demand something, the students whine or try to get out of it or try to pull the wool over their eyes, making it look like they did the work when they actually didn’t.
So, when I first meet my competitive drama students each year, I make sure they know what to expect, and, hopefully, they will understand that this doesn’t mean I hate them or think they are awful actors. It means that I have faith in their abilities and know they can do better. I am mostly the same way with my students in class, but for a competitive activity, this is especially the case.
Has anyone ever had an experience like this, whether in teaching or in life? Do people expect you to be nice because you are a woman?