Small Strokes Big Oaks

Today’s guest post is more about the author’s relationship with feminism, rather than feminism and relationships.  Did you know I accepted posts about personal experiences with feminism, too?  Well, I do!  Especially after becoming so disillusioned with the feminist community a while back, and after hearing from so many people that they felt the exact same way, I would love to publish more about people’s personal relationships with feminism, as I think it fits in with the purpose of this blog really well.  So, should you feel inspired to weigh in, send your posts my way!

Lauren Kaminsky, 25, is enthusiastic about empowering young people, especially young women.  She writes Outside the Girl Box , a blog for pre-teen girls that encourages them to stay true to themselves and stay out of the “box” in which society tries to place them.  She is also a coach and volunteer for Girls on the Run Chicago, and writes for Equality 101.

In her spare time, you’ll find Lauren running, biking, and swimming, in no particular order, training for as many races as she can cram into her weekends.  She also enjoys rocking out to Hanson (yes, the band that hit it big with “Mmmbop” in 1997), watching Glee with her husband, and drinking way too much Diet Coke.

You can follow Lauren on Twitter @outgirlbox or contact her via e-mail at outsidethegirlbox@gmail.com.

My favorite color is pink.  I’m a teacher-turned-nanny.  I’m married, and I happily took my husband’s last name.  I doubt that “feminist” is a word that most would use to describe me.  In fact, when asked, I typically respond with something non-committal like, “I’m big on girl power,” or “I’m not boy-negative, just extremely girl-positive.”

However, though I may not fit the typical definition of a feminist, it’s hard not to see that I fit into the movement.  I am passionate about helping girls grow into young women who think critically, believe in their tremendous power and self-worth, and analyze the messages they are sent by the media and society.  I believe that girls should have opportunities to explore, create, dare, and dream.  I write a blog for pre-teen girls called Outside the Girl Box.  The girl box is a term coined by Molly Barker, the founder and vision keeper of Girls on the Run International.  It is used to describe a place where many girls go around middle school, when they begin to believe the messages they’ve been sent by media and society that they aren’t good enough and need to conform to a certain type of behavior to be accepted.  Rosalind Wiseman calls it the “act like a woman box.”

During my time as a teacher, I became actively involved with Girls on the Run, a non-profit organization that teaches girls in third through eighth grade about positive self-image and living a healthy lifestyle through training for a 5k race.  The program nurtures acceptance, compassion, being critical of media messages, belief in oneself, and so much more.

I firmly believe that girls can do anything they want to do – but I also believe the choice is theirs to make.  Growing up, I admired women like Amelia Earhart and Sally Ride.  I was an aviation enthusiast.  My parents took me to air shows and fly-ins, and even allowed me to co-pilot a family friend’s single engine aircraft.  To this day, I read anything I can get my hands on about Amelia Earhart, and jump at any opportunity to fly in a small plane.  I plan to get my own private pilot’s license someday.

I also admired my mom, a stay at home mom who contributed so much to my development.  She volunteered at every school event, compiled and edited school newsletters, and organized trips for hundreds of high schoolers.  And despite the fact that she stayed home, my parents never gave me the impression that my mother was “lesser” than my father.  She wasn’t.  She was and is very obviously an equal partner in all decisions.  In fact, my parents waited to have children until they were financially able for my mom to choose whether she wanted to work or not.  It just turned out that after meeting me, she wanted to stay home.

I hesitate to call myself a feminist because I refuse to believe that a woman is less strong because she makes more traditional choices.  Ideally, the feminist movement should be about choice.  Women and girls should have equal access to careers, but they should follow their own passions and desires about what to do with their lives.  I have a hard time aligning myself with a movement that is judgmental of women who stay at home, teach, are nurses, or follow any path that is traditionally a “women’s” path.  I know that during my three years in the classroom I nurtured young women to believe in their power and self-worth.  For me, that was the best kind of activism – reaching girls at a difficult time in their lives and teaching them to celebrate being a girl.  Others’ brands of activism may be different, and as far as I’m concerned, that’s okay.

As I taught my students and continue to teach girls through my blog, if someone can’t accept you for who you are, they’re probably not worth your time anyway.  So until the feminist movement accepts a broader lens of what powerful women look like, I’ll continue with my own brand: I’m big on girl power.