This Is What A Beautiful Bride Looks Like
Wedding Weightloss Ad
I am becoming increasingly frustrated with wedding mentality and pressure. There is so much pressure to be perfect when you’re preparing to be a bride, and it’s sad to me how many women buy into this. I, myself, bought into it! I felt I had to do EVERYTHING perfectly, and, instead, ended up doing everything wrong – because I was trying too hard.
Then, something just… clicked. I was poking around Facebook, and saw a trend in the ads on the right side of my screen. Almost all of them were for a Wedding Weightloss routine that, of course, since I’m a bride-to-be, I must follow.
Let me pause for a second here to divulge something about me that you may not know. I am thin. Skinny, even. So I really have no right to complain about my body, and I try not to, but even skinny bodies come with their own body image issues. (You won’t believe what I’m adding to my gown and wearing underneath my gown against my principles to get the figure I want. (Or you will believe it because you’ve seen it or you’ve been there.)) And, don’t get me wrong. I have a strapless wedding gown, and I am following a workout routine for my arms. But I will not NOT NOT diet. It is unhealthy and unnecessary.
But the pressure to be perfect and look perfect doesn’t stop at thinness. I’ve always felt my teeth were crooked and too big and my worst feature on my face. That was until I went to get my eyebrows done for our engagement pictures and the eyebrow tech told me I had “quirky” eyebrows and then launched into a spiel about how my face wasn’t perfect. She framed it as a good thing, but I didn’t hear any of that. And now I can’t stop focusing on my quirky eyebrows.
Enough is enough! I am not perfect! (Weird, I know.) But I will still be a beautiful bride! EVERY bride is beautiful! We need to stop feeling the pressure to be perfect! And there seemed to be no better way to do this than to show the world what REAL beautiful brides really look like. So, I created a tumblr to do just that. It is called This Is What A Beautiful Bride Looks Like, and I’m looking for pics of REAL brides because you are all REALLY beautiful! You can submit pics to me via e-mail – samsanator(at)gmail(dot)com – or tweet it @samsanator.
Let’s show the bridal industry what real beauty looks like!
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A, nice thought but the you already said that women do this to themselves. And it’s for ONE day and for one day of pics or for a video. How many women are getting married and say, “I’m getting married in x months and want to lose 20 pounds before then or get my arms toned so I’m going to the gym or we’re going to Bermuda and…” You’re already engaged so obviously the guy is attracted to you. You already were together so obviously there was a physical attraction. It is honestly why I don’t understand why people spend so much time, money and attention on one single day. I’ve never thought about it and don’t want it for myself. EVER. I just don’t get it.
“Let me pause for a second here to divulge something about me that you may not know. I am thin. Skinny, even. So I really have no right to complain about my body, and I try not to, but even skinny bodies come with their own body image issues.”
I feel like by saying that as a thin woman “you have no right to complain” that you’re still holding up the “thin” ideal, even though you say that you also have body issues…You’re making the assumption that thin= good and not thin= bad/wrong/ugly (therefore it’s ok to complain)
I don’t think you’re meaning this, but it came across this way, for me any way.
I understand the idea you’re trying to convey with the photos of real brides, but it seems like you’ve dilutted the message in this post by making the assumption that beauty is narrowly defined (i.e. beauty equals thin, non-quirky eyebrows, small teeth).
I’d suggest that these women who are sending in their photos are doing so because when they look at the photos of themselves, they see a HAPPY bride…which is what makes a beautiful bride. I doubt that new brides are looking at their wedding photos and noticing their arms, stomach, butt, etc…they are just remembering how happy they were to be marrying their best friend and to celebrate with all of their nearest and dearest. They were beautiful brides because there was love was flowing through every ounce of their bodies…not because of how they looked or how much they weighed.
Just my two cents.
I see what you’re saying, Cait, but hat wasn’t what I meant. I meant I have no right to complian about images of brides always being skinny or dresses being made to fit a not-curvey figure. I’m sorry it wasn’t worded very well. I put that in there for people who know me personally or who have seen pictures of me not to say “Hey but you’re skinny so why are you so upset!” The fact is that no matter your shape, size, skin color, sexual orientation, etc., wedding ads prey on emotional women who want to be “perfect” – and it’s all for one day! I wanted to get my teeth straightened any my eyebrows done and my figure fixed to look more “womanly” and my arms toned and all of this and I was losing my mind. It may not seem like it should be a huge epiphone to realize that your wedding will be beautiful if it reflects who you are and what your relationship with your fiancé is like or to realize that you will be beautiful if you are just yourself, but it was for me.
About women always seeing their wedding photos as beautiful: You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you? The truth is I received 6 emails just yesterday from women thanking me for this site because they looked back on their wedding with disdain because they weren’t thin enough or because their bridesmaids were skinnier than they were. One woman didn’t even look at he photos at all because she hated to look at herself that much. I truly hope we can eventually all love ourselves for who we are, and I hope this website is a step in that direction.
(P.S. Sorry for any typos. I’m typing on my phone 😛 )
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