We bought a house.
Exciting, right? Yes, yes it is. Though it is also terrifying. Even though I had some reservations (And some more. And some more. And even more than that.) about buying a house in the suburbs, it is more exciting than terrifying. I’ve come to realize a lot of things about myself that I never would have thought to be true. I always liked the idea of living in the city, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I want to carve out a tiny space for myself here, near where I grew up, near my family and friends, near my work. It is what I truly, truly want.
So I am truly, truly happy.
Today, I had the good fortune to meet up with a former student and two very good friends from undergrad. When I met my former student for coffee, she was bursting with exciting news from her semester abroad in Moscow. When she asked me how my life was going, I was less enthusiastic. When she asked me about the house, I had few things to say.
The same thing happened when I met up with my undergrad friends later. I started talking about how difficult the decision to buy a house was, and how I felt that the situation in which I find myself is very strange. I feel caught between one set of friends who have houses and who are starting to have babies and who have decided to focus on their growing families. My other set of friends are the type who are moving across the country and getting PhDs and writing novels and doing a host of other things. I’m sort of doing both; our family is not growing any time soon, but we are buying the house and sticking with our jobs and starting to settle down even while I have my fingers in about a million different and exciting projects.
The weird thing, though, is that I have thought about this. A lot. And I really like where we are right now, and I really like where we are headed. I am so, so excited to be closing on this house on June 5. I already have color palettes picked out for the downstairs areas and my upstairs office. I already know where all of our furniture is going to go. I am already planning our housewarming party for July. When Tim was in the office earlier, rooting through his desk and the filing cabinet as I was trying to write this blog post, I could not wait to have an office of my own. And the YARD! Seriously, it’s almost 1/2 an acre. Penny can run free!
So why did I restrain my happiness? Why did I feel the need to talk about all of the reasons I wasn’t so sure about this decision, even though I am 100% sure about this decision?
I think it probably has something to do with the fact that I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging or gushing and, when I’m catching up with friends, I don’t want to steal the spotlight too much.
I’m sure, also, that there is some latent uncertainty about the house purchase that rears its ugly head whenever it starts to feel too real – like when I’m telling my friends all about the features of our new abode.
Here’s the bottom line. I know we made the right decision for us for right now. Who knows where life may take us in even a few short years. Who knows if we might be living in this house for the next fifty years. For now, though, this is the best choice for us. And I am EXCITED.
So. Now who wants to see my color palette selections?
For the downstairs (color #2 or #6 for the walls, accents of the others throughout with color #5 for our library):
For my office:(color #4 for the walls)
My desk will go under (or to the side of) this vinyl sticker:
This chair will go in my office, too.
Seriously. I am in full nesting mode.