“When there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.”

When I used to blog in college (mostly personal stuff that probably had no business being on the internet, and found very few readers because no one cared), I'd frequently start off with a title from a song that maybe five people would recognize that was only vaguely related to my post. Here, I've started off with the first line from the first song on the album Set Yourself on Fire by Stars not because it is obscure and vaguely related to this post, but because it inspired me when I heard it in my car on my way to work this morning.
“When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.”
I never realized how true this was until this year. I always used to think it was a really creepy line referencing someone actually setting themselves on fire, and images of protesters and extremists doing just that would always bounce into my head. But this morning, it struck me as more metaphorical: When you have no more external motivation and energy left, you must look deeper inside yourself for fuel to your fire.
I told my fiance this week that I was doing so much work that required so much energy with very little payoff. It's that time of the year when, as a teacher (in Chicago, at least), you become so frustrated because you and the students are wishing upon wish for some sunlight or a nice day to go outside and run around. There needs to be some outlet for the energy that is being pent up inside. But there isn't, so you keep teaching your heart out, and the students keep moving around and talking out and pounding on desks because they literally have no other outlet for the energy they have. And it is frustrating. Then, there's grad school. I'm pouring energy into this paper and seeing so few results right now that it's disheartening. And the wedding! It is so much planning for one day that seems so far off in the distance that any sort of rewarding feeling must be put off for so long.
I'm not saying I need instant gratification. I don't. But having some sort of little payoff intermittently gives me the fuel to keep going, and I just haven't felt that as of late. So I whine and complain and curl up in bed and decide I don't want to try anymore because I want someone to pat me on the back and tell me I'm doing a good job, that they like my work, that I'm indespensible to a cause, that I'm doing something important.
I think, as activists, we've all felt this way at some point. We've fought so hard for something to come to fruition – for any progress at all – and when we do not win, we are defeated. We feel as if we cannot go on because, after a major defeat, what is the point of giving it all you've got only to be crushed and disappointed?
The truth is, though, that we must keep on. When things are so frustrating that we feel we cannot take on one more thing that may bust up in our faces, we must look into ourselves for what started us on this in the first place, and set ourselves on fire. Not literally, of course.
I had this amazing education professor in college who would always tell us to teach like our hair was on fire. I always thought that meant being goofy and energetic in the classroom. While I do believe that is part of it, I see now that he really meant for us to teach with an undying passion and, when that passion runs out, find it again for without it, we will feel lost. So I am vowing now to not only teach like my hair is on fire, but to live like my hair is on fire. To find that passion I started with and ignite it again. You can all keep me in check on this – when I start complaining again, remind me of this post.
And I encourage you to do the same. If you have any stories about “setting yourself on fire” (NOT LITERALLY! Please DO NOT literally light any flames because of this post!!) please share them below.
We are a strong, passionate community, and we are all doing important things.

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Filed under: Class, Feminism, Marriage Rights, Race
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05
Feb
2010

The Laramie Project

The Laramie Project by Moises Kaufman and the Tectonic Theater Project out in New York is one of my all-time favorite plays.  And seeing as I was the drama director at my old school, that’s saying quite a lot; I read A LOT of plays in my time there, but Laramie is one that definitely stood out.
If you haven’t read it, you should.  Now.  It’s a quick read; you could probably finish it in an hour.  Or go rent it!  HBO teamed up with the Tectonic Theater Project a little while ago to make a screen version of the play, and it is phenomenal, too.
A little bit about Laramie for those of you who haven’t read or seen it (from a paper I wrote about it last year):

On October 6, 1998, a young man was found tied to a fence in the Wyoming countryside. He had been beaten within inches of his life and left there to die, all because he was gay. Matthew Shepard was still breathing when he was found the next morning, and remained on life support until he died on October 12, 1998. The unusual, pristine nature of the crime scene lead to the quick arrests of Russell Henderson and Aaron McKinney, who eventually pled guilty to the crime, citing “gay panic,” or temporary insanity caused by a fear of sexual advances from a gay person, as their defense.

The murder and subsequent trials gained national attention from celebrities, politicians, and news media. When the media descended on the small town of Laramie, Wyoming, “all dialogue stopped” (Laramie 11). It was as the case gained national attention that Moisés Kaufman and the members of the Tectonic Theater Project went to Laramie on six different occasions to interview the residents of the town. They interviewed over 200 of the town’s residents – priests and pastors, ranchers, townspeople, friends of the victim and the accused, policemen and women who were on the case, the doctors who attended to Matthew Shepard, etc. The direct transcripts from these interviews, as well as journal entries and experiences of the actors themselves came together in the amazingly powerful play, The Laramie Project.

If that isn’t enough to entice you to read it, I don’t know what is.
But, my real reason for writing today about Laramie is because of one of my former students.  As I said above, I was the drama director at my old school for some time, and as the drama director, I worked with all sorts of students, and sensed the need to bring this play to the school and the community.  I hoped it would create a dialogue about my students’ lives that had been almost hidden until this point.  So I went to the principal of the school for approval and she granted it to me.  My students were so excited.  We cast the play before winter break and came back ready to go.
On the day we were to start our first rehearsals, the principal came into my room and informed me of the school board’s last minute decision to unapprove the play.
Now, keep in mind that this was a rural-ish school district, and a very conservative community.  I do not blame them for their decision at all, and I truly would like to believe that they had the students’ safety and best interests in mind.  But we were all heartbroken.  It was with tears in my eyes that I delivered the news to my students that first day of rehearsal.  And it changed them.  I saw them become disheartened and disappointed.  I saw them feel personally rejected, because this play spoke so deeply to so many of them.  But here’s the silver lining: I saw the activists start to come out in all of them.  Some went to the superintendent.  Some went to teachers.  Some had their parents call to voice their disappointment.  Some researched other venues for us to produce the play.  None of it panned out, unfortunately, but the important point was that they didn’t give up, and I could not have been more proud.  Since then, all of the students have graduated high school and moved on to bigger and better things, but I believe that experience has stayed with them in both good and bad ways, and I believe that it has made them better able to stand up for what they truly believe.
Yesterday, Collin, one of the students who was originally cast in the play, called me and left a very excited voicemail that he had been cast in his college’s production of Laramie.  His voice was almost shaking with excitement – as well it should have been – and it was again with tears in my eyes that I called him back to offer my congratulations (except these were good tears).  We talked for a little bit about the play and his auditions and all of that before he asked me if it would be a good idea to send invitations to the play to the school board of our former school.
Just when I thought I couldn’t be more proud, I was.
:-D
The production will be touring the weekend of Valentine’s Day with a stop in Chicago, so if you want more information, please let me know.

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22
Jan
2010

Teaching Feminism: Everyday Activism Part 2

Cross-posted with Gender Across Borders

I wrote a post a little while ago about teaching everyday activism to my sophomores.  I was so energized at the end of this two-day lesson – totally jazzed that they had caught on to the concept of activism so well that they had started talking about what they could do to speak out and raise awareness for their personal causes.

As interesting as it might be to follow my students’ activism, I think it is equally interesting – and important – to discuss my students’ original perceptions of activism.  In my original post, I mentioned that I put a list of actions on the board and asked my students if they considered each “activism.”  The following is the list again, but this time, I’ve put the number of students in each of my three classes respectively who believed each action is considered activism.  There were 22 students in my first class, 28 students in my second class, and 17 students in my third class.

Which of these are “activism?”
1. Donating money 4, 12, 2
2. Writing an article 1, 5, 2
3. Discussions 17, 14, 8
4. Signing a petition 17, 22, 17
5. Writing a letter 3, 5, 1
6. Protesting 17, 28, 17
7. Creating a petition 17, 23, 17
8. Blogging 5, 3, 1
9. Risking your life for someone 15, 14, 8
10. Going against what people think 16, 23, 17
11. Being a lawyer 3, 4, 11
12. Being a teacher 2, 2, 5
13. Being a doctor 7, 4, 11
14. Volunteering 18, 18, 13
15. Starting a group 17, 18, 12
16. Adopting a pet 3, 4, 3
17. Adopting a child 3, 8, 6
18. Making a speech 17, 14, 11
19. Making a sign 6, 10, 6
20. Talking to a friend 4, 3, 4

It is interesting to note, here, that discussions, signing and creating petitions, going against what people think, volunteering, protesting, starting a group, and making a speech were all highly recognized as activist activities, whereas very few students thought of writing an article, writing a letter, blogging, being a teacher, adopting a pet, adopting a child, and talking to a friend as actions of activists.

I was not surprised that my students thought of petitions, speeches, discussions, protests, and volunteering as activism.  After all, they are taught that activists such as Martin Luther King, Jr. give speeches and do interviews and hold discussions.  And in this day and age, protests are probably the most common form of activism students see on the news, and petitions are probably the most common form of speaking out in which students have participated.  I was, however, surprised that writing an article or writing a letter was not seen by them as activism.  So, I asked them why.

I started by grouping together the actions that had the highest number of votes, as I did above, and asked them what all of these had in common.  Every class said the same thing: In order for an activity to be considered activism, it must involve other people – an audience, a group, several signatures, etc.  When I asked them if articles and blogs had audiences, they said yes, but activism must be loud and directed.  Protests are directed because they are stationed outside of the building of whatever company is being protested; discussions and speeches are directed because people are talking about one specific issue.  When I mentioned that blogs have wide audiences, they replied that this may be true, but anyone can write a blog about anything, which makes it unreliable.  To protest or discuss or create a petition, you can’t hide behind a computer screen writing a post or an article.  You have to be out there, literally taking a stand for what you believe in.

While I still believe that blogging and writing are important forms of activism, my students have reminded me of the importance of literally taking a stand for your cause.  We can write and comment and share all we want, but it does not take the place of active activism – actually doing something.  As I pointed out to my students, Miep Gies actually did something, and what she did was not only the action of an activist, but the action of a hero.

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19
Jan
2010

Teaching Feminism: Everyday Activism

It has come to my attention that my so many people either don’t know what “activism” is (“It’s like we need to be active to be healthy?”) or that it is for “other people” (“Angelina Jolie is an activist, right?”).  For some, it is a dirty word (“Those animal rights activists throw blood on people!”).  They do not understand the importance of everyday activism, or just doing what is right.

I was inspired by a recent Gender Across Borders article about Miep Gies which touted her as an “example for all activists.”  I’d like to take that a step further and posit that she is an example for all people and, as such, I felt my students needed to know about her extraordinary acts during the Holocaust, and they needed to understand activism as something that isn’t just for other people.

I began my two-day lesson with my sophomores by asking them to write a journal entry defining activism.  Many students responded to this as stated above.  We discussed activism and what it means, and then I put the following list on the board:

Which of these are “activism?”
1. Donating money
2. Writing an article
3. Discussions
4. Signing a petition
5. Writing a letter
6. Protesting
7. Creating a petition
8. Blogging
9. Risking your life for someone
10. Going against what people think
11. Being a lawyer
12. Being a teacher
13. Being a doctor
14. Volunteering
15. Starting a group
16. Adopting a pet
17. Adopting a child
18. Making a speech
19. Making a sign
20. Talking to a friend

We spent some time talking about each of these, and the students selected which they considered activism.  Then, the students wanted to add a few to the list like voting, recycling, and participating in a club.  When this was finished, I asked the students if they remembered Anne Frank.  Of course, they all did, having read her diary in 8th grade.  Inevitably, one student asked me if Anne Frank was an activist, which sparked a few minutes of debate about whether or not she was (“What was she fighting for?  She was hiding because she had to!” “But she was fighting for rights for the Jewish people!” “But she didn’t mean to be!  She wrote her diary because she was bored!”).  After this died down, I said “What about the woman who helped hide Anne Frank and her family?” The students almost unanimously agreed that she was an activist, even though her activism was very different than the types of activism we discussed on the list.

I then handed out the Gender Across Borders article and we read it aloud and I asked them questions as we read.  When we were finished with the article, I asked them what the difference between her activism and the activism on the list was.  They came up with answers like: “Now, people want to be famous and make money, which is their only reason for doing good things” and “Now, in the United States, people don’t have to risk their lives for others.”  Then, I left them at the end of day 1 with the question: What cause are you passionate about?

The next day, they entered the room, and written on the board was “What cause are you passionate about?”  Most students came in and sat down, looking puzzled.  A few told me they couldn’t think of a cause the night before.  A few others asked me what I meant by cause, or if standing up for a friend being bullied was a cause.  I put the list back up on the projector and said: “How many of you have done at least one of these things?”  They read over the list again and, gradually, their hands started raising one by one, until every single hand was in the air.  “OK!” I said, “Why did you do these things?”  And causes started flying around the room.  Cancer research, school violence, cleaning up a park, speaking out against racism, human rights, feeding the hungry, giving clothes to the homeless, working at animal shelters, fighting genocide around the globe… and the list went on and on.  When we had talked about a few of these in depth, I asked them to each write a journal about what cause they were passionate about, why they cared about it, and what they have done or want to do to make a difference because of it.

They were silent and writing furiously for the last 20 minutes of class.

Were they inspired to be activists?  I don’t know.  But are they more socially conscious now than they were before?  I’d venture to say yes.

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16
Jan
2010

Literature Review: Feminist Activism

This continues a series of posts that, all together, comprise my literature review for my Master’s thesis research.  You can view all of the posts by clicking here.

What follows is a brief section about feminist activism and literacy.  Enjoy!

Feminism has not only produced many varying definitions, but also many varying forms of activism.  In their chapter titled “What Is Activism,” Baumgardner and Richards also work to define what feminist activism is and what it should be.  As with their definition of feminism, they try to take a non-controversial, middle-of-the-road definition of feminist activism.  They write: “Though activism can be grand or all-consuming, it is also as common and short-term as saying “That’s not funny” to a racist joke, “No” to the boss who asks only the “girls” in the office to make coffee, or calling your senator to protest…” (282).  They also give examples of women activists and what they have done to protest the injustices they see.  “What all these feminists have in common,” they write, “is this: they saw an injustice and use their rage to become everyday activists.  One can be an activist with one’s voice, money, vote, creativity, privilege, or the fearlessness that comes from having nothing left to lose” (281).

bell hooks agrees that all forms of feminist activism are important, but stresses that theory is necessary.  She posits that people can talk about their personal experiences all they want – like bloggers do – but that a solid, feminist theory is necessary for any activism.  In her essay titled “Feminism,” she writes: “Personal experiences are important to feminist movement, but they cannot take the place of theory” (32).  This may explain why feminist blogs that take a more analytical standpoint are more successful than blogs that simply talk about personal issues.  She goes on to posit in her essay, “The Significance of Feminist Movement” that feminism and feminist activism within a family structure is incredibly important.  She says that feminism within families that supports “family as a kinship structure that can sustain and nourish people… graphically address[es] links between sexist oppression and family disintegration… and to give examples… of the way family life is and can be when unjust authoritarian rule is replaced with an ethic of communalism, shared responsibility, and mutuality” (40).

While feminist activism can be on any level, and, as bell hooks posits, works best when within a familial structure and can be taught to children within the family at a very young age, activists outside the family must find other ways to spread their feminist theories.  This is where literacy practices come in.  In her article, “‘Substantive and Feminist Girlie Action’: Women Online,” Jacqueline Rhodes writes that “[r]adical feminists in the late 1960s and early 1970s poured out ‘temporary’ texts… that were often written collaboratively, distributed collectively and publicly through the magic of mimeography and volunteer effort…” (116-117).  These texts, she goes on to say, parallel today’s cyber-culture in many ways, “not the least of which is the feminist sense of textuality that arises sometimes out of, sometimes in response to, and sometimes in direct contradiction to larger political moments” (117-118) as well as the emphasis on networking texts which creates the possibility for a community of writers calling people into action.

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10
Nov
2009

Are We Excluding People?

Instructables DIY laptop stand

Image by Guillermo Esteves via Flickr

This is just a thought at the moment, but aren’t we, as feminist bloggers, excluding not only those who don’t speak English, but those who can’t access technology?

An interesting conversation took place a while back in a grad class, and I didn’t blog about it then because, frankly, this blog wasn’t started yet, so it’s been rumbling around in my mind ever since.  It went something like this:

Lady: Well, the great thing now is that the information gap is closing!
Me: How so?
Lady: Because everything is online!  You can just type something in and it shows up and there you have it.  Literally anyone can access it!
Me: Not everyone.  You have to have access to a computer.  Not to mention the internet.
Lady: Everybody has access to the internet!  I mean, you can take your laptop anywhere and get free wi-fi.
Me: Sure.  But you have to have a laptop.  I paid $1400 for mine.  I can imagine that might be an issue for some people.
Lady: Oh.  Yea.

OK, so what can we do about reaching those who don’t have access to technology?  Or what is being done?  (What are you doing?  I’d love to hear!)  I have to admit, I’m not too well-versed with “real-world” feminism, and by that I mean what is going on outside the blogosphere.  My activism has been totally online, mostly because I’m not sure what else can be done in my area, and I’m not sure how to find out.  Leave some comments!

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02
Nov
2009

Small Strokes

Cover of "Manifesta: Young Women, Feminis...

Cover via Amazon

I love it when research about feminist activism and feminism points you to a quote that explains exactly what you’re trying to do with your own activism. This is from ManifestA: young women, feminism, and the future by Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards, and I feel it describes exactly how I feel about feminist activism:

Though activism can be grand or all-consuming, it is also as common and short-term as saying “That’s not funny” to a racist joke, “No” to the boss who asks only the “girls” in the office to make coffee, or calling your senator to protest… (282)

Also important to remember:

The first myth is that activism will bring an immediate and decisive victory.  In reality, the journey to justice is usually [darn] long.  So while the click of consciousness brings immediate gratification in itself, social change, even on a small scale, is slow and arduous work. (283)

The second myth about activism is that it has to be huge… (285)

The third myth is the importance of the superleader… It is a myth that effective activism is the result of one person, or even a few. (285)

Although we may not yet have a critical mass of Third Wave activists, we need to dispel the fourth and final myth: that our generation is politically, um, impotent.  Our purported lack of activism is usually chalked up to vague notions of apathy.  We were reared by the boob tube, and made cynical by the cold-war politics and consumerism of the Reagan-Bush era.  For a while, ad executives and media pundits conjectured that Generation X was simply lazy and irresponsible – fulfilling the slacker persona of the early nineties.  The apathy rap has some truth when it comes to feminism.  Some people do believe that everything is fine now, and that there is no need for feminism, either because they have low expectations or because they haven’t been in the outside world long enough to experience the limitations brought on by sexism… But history tells us that for each big leap, for each crystal-clear moment in which people refused to give up their seats on the bus or at the lunch counter, there is a time collecting energy and stating new visions – a time of pre-emergence.  Understanding that change takes time will lead us to a redefinition of our generation politically. (286-7)

How do you feel about feminist activism right now?  How do you define it?  How do you participate in it?  I’d be interested to read your comments!

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Filed under: Feminism, Marriage Rights, Race
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01
Nov
2009

This is what an activist looks like

zatbheader3

Zero at the Bone

Today’s post is thanks to Chally.  She posted a link to this post in the comments of my Blogging for Social Good post, but I thought this post was so good, I had to share!  Thanks, Chally!

Chally is a scary feminist. She’s also a non-white, cis, middle class, disabled woman. She lives in Australia and enjoys knitting, Doctor Who and cake. You can find her at Zero at the Bone.

I’m disappointed when I hear activists prescribing what other activists ought to do. I’m surprised it doesn’t all come from rich, white, etc, etc, men, and here’s why.

Traditional forms of activism are often not possible or difficult for a given individual. Is a single mother going to go to a rally for paid maternity leave when she can’t find someone to look after her kids? Is someone with chronic pain and/or fatigue going to take kindly to being told they ought to attend a protest? Is it reasonable to expect that everyone has the time, energy, resources and know-how to do research or a survey? Is someone struggling to get by going to have the money to pay to get into your event? Is your crowded, loud meeting held in a room up a flight of steps going to be accessible to everyone?

You see, if you’re claiming to be progressive, but your organising unthinkingly excludes chunks of vulnerable and oppressed people? You are not a progressive. And if you are nevertheless insisting that some other form of activism is not a proper one? If you’re low on resources, and really trying to include folks, that’s one thing. But if you think you have the one true way to save the world, that is quite another.

What I am suggesting is that there are a lot of forms of activism in the world, and looking down one’s nose at some of them is detrimental as well as being offensive to those of us working hard to make valuable contributions in any way we can. It goes beyond ‘well, everyone should do what they can’. It’s not even a case of ‘if you can only contribute a little, that’s fine’. It’s not even just about the privileging of particular modes of contribution. It’s this: I do not know where anyone gets off saying that what another person does to heal the world is less than proper.

Now, I sign petitions and write letters all that sort of thing. I buy badges and do bakesales, too. Right now I’m volunteering with the local government on a DVD aimed at crime prevention. (These forms of activism have various levels of “proper activism” quotient attached to them. Discussion questions: How much do they tie in with what you do? How traditional do they seem to you?) I do traditional activism – sometimes. I am disabled, and it is not always physically possible to do so. Here is a short list of some forms of activism in which I engage that traditional thinking doesn’t call activism:

  • I call out people when they use “ism”-based language.
  • I attempt to be an ethical consumer (and frequently fail, but I’m getting better! And it’s a feature of economic privilege that this form of activism is even possible for me).
  • I try to centre marginal people/experiences/voices in any given situation.
  • I engage with the world, and learn as much as I can about what I can do to make it better.
  • I look into myself and work at unravelling oppressive ideas I have taken on as my own.
  • I assist those around me with their activism where I can and should.

We should be rethinking traditional methods of activism, because progress means rethinking the traditional to make sure we have the very best for ourselves and the world. Even where we’ve assured ourselves we’re progressive. We need to keep thinking, keep examining, not only the world but ourselves.

Because it’s not just pressuring governments that’s important, as important as it is. Central to my activism is what I do right here, right now, in my life and my communities. When it comes down to it, progress is not only in the big sweeping changes. It’s in our souls. It’s in relating to each other with kindness.

I just don’t get it when people say that blogging isn’t real activism, because it is a big deal to this activist. I’ve reached and been reached by so many people, sharing lives that would never otherwise touch! Because the Internet is not composed of individuals shouting into the void. The Internet is composed of people, and we use it to direct attention to issues and petitions and all sorts. And we take what we learn with us to the offline world. Even if this wasn’t so, there is important work to do inside our minds. We have to tease out the oppression we’ve stored in ourselves. We have to understand and learn. Blogs have given me tools to put language and frames to my experience. For instance, amandaw’s work at Three Rivers Fog and Lauredhel’s at Hoyden About Town gave me what I needed to talk about my experiences as a disabled woman. You know. Writing isn’t useless. Writing is a good part of humanity’s process and progress, how we connect, how we relate to ourselves. Whether you’re writer or reader – and how often those roles intertwine in a sphere such as blogging! – writing is not just valid, but vital.

Previously in this thought process: In which homework is assigned.

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26
Sep
2009