Quick Hit: Gen X Women Succeed at Work, Have Fewer Kids
Thanks to my pal, Veronica, I saw this article about how women who are now between the ages of 33 and 46 (Generation X) are working harder and having fewer children. In an interview about the study with Sylvia Ann Hewlett, the founding president of the Center for Work Life Policy and author of “Winning the War for Talent in Emerging Markets: Why Woman are the Solution,” we find out a whole lot of things we might not have known about this generation. Like this gem (emphasis mine):
The data show that at age 40, college-educated women in this generation do not have children, and that’s obviously towards the end of the childbearing years. I call it a ‘creeping non-choice’ because it’s nuanced: You don’t wake up one day and say, ‘I’m not going to have kids.’ It’s a decision that falls out of other circumstances. Other important factors and opportunities crowd out the possibility of having children.
36 percent of Gen X men also don’t have children by age 40, but women are paying a more permanent price because guys can have children when they’re 55.
Well, thanks for those sweeping generalizations, Ms. Hewlett, and I hate to bust your over-generalized bubble, but some women actually do wake up wone day and say, ‘I’m not going to have kids.’ Or, at least, it’s a decision that is made in the same way that the decision to have kids is made. You think about it, talk it over with your partner, and you make the choice that’s best for you.
Also, can we discuss the rhetoric she’s using here? “Women are paying a more permanent price” for not having children? Right, because we’re all going to get to the end of our childbearing years and regret the decisions we made to have a fulfilling career and a wonderful romantic partnership. Obviously, those who are childfree at 45 will wish they hadn’t, you know, done other things.
The whole article is filled with gems like this one, and I could go on and on, but go ahead and read it for yourself and let me know what you think.
Generalizations aside, I think having children is often something that does get pushed aside, unless you’re the sort of person who’s really adamant about having kids. For me, I spent most of my life ambivalent about having kids, and spent my time doing lots of other things that were more interesting to me personally. Now that I’m in my thirties and pretty sure I do want kids, I’m also bumping up against a biological timeframe that isn’t enormously flexible. Do I regret not having kids earlier? Not at all. Would I make a similar choice again, given the opportunity? Most likely. But I also feel the weight of that choice differently now than I did at 25, or even 30.
You don’t wake up one day and say, ‘I’m not going to have kids.’
Very true for me, though not at all in the way the author is suggesting — I wake up every day with the understanding that I’m not going to have kids.
I thought the article was kind of condescending, as if every woman naturally wants to have children and if they don’t they will never be fulfilled. It also puts this unusual kind of sexism, where it’s okay for an older man to have children, but not an older woman.