Guest Post: Defying Social Norms
An internet friend of mine recently introduced me to Stephanie’s blog, Practicing Parenting, and I am so glad she did. This blog is awesome. She’s a feminist parent, and a stay-at-home mom who teaches her kids about gender equality. How much more awesome can you get? Fortunately, she’s allowed me to repost her post, Defying Social Norms so y’all could enjoy it here. But this just touches the surface of what she’s doing on her blog, so check out her site!
So, this morning, Richard told me he was going outside to do some yard work. I asked what kind of yard work. Oh, you know, pulling weeds, mowing the grass. I jokingly said, “I’ll mow the lawn for you.” Richard, “Really?” Then Richie chimes in, “No, Mommy, you can’t mow the lawn.” So I asked why. The response, “Because only Daddies can mow the lawn, you’re not big enough.” OH MY GOODNESS. So I told my young Richie that I indeed could mow the lawn and so could any other Mommy that wanted to. His reply, “OKAY. But be careful, Mommy.”
Super-Mom to the rescue! Defying social norms and setting a great example for my two young children (I don’t think Sophia is old enough to realize what is really taking place). A great example to Richie that he is no better simply because of his gender, and to Lily also- just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you aren’t strong enough or big enough to do hard work. OKAY. Now how do I work a lawn mower? Seriously. I have never in my life mowed a lawn- even though we were all girls growing up, my Dad tasked my oldest sister Jennifer with that responsibility. I suppose because I’ve always been of a really small stature, my height maxing out at 4 feet 11 inches and growing up my weight never being more than 90 pounds.
So I asked Richard to give me a quick tutorial (he wasn’t aware I’d never worked a lawn mower until this point). How do you start it? You pull a string back quickly while holding down on a lever at the handle-bars. Okay. You mean I have to keep holding this for the lawn mower to keep working? No problem. To make the front wheels drive I also have to hold down two OTHER levers? Alright, I can do this. The backyard was a breeze. I strategically did the sunny side first so that I could “relax” in the shade with the other half. The easement? Not so breezy. Although it’s mostly shaded, it’s mostly on an incline. Half way through I ran out of gas. Another trip to Daddy to figure out where to find and put that.
At about 90% completion of the easement I had to turn the mower off to move some big sticks. This was a little bit of a downfall for me because my arms were so tired I couldn’t restart the mower. I had to ask Daddy for some assistance. After 3 seconds the mower turned off again- MORE GAS. I didn’t put enough in last time. Okay. I told Richard I’d do my best to restart it myself after I added more gas. SUCCESS. I started it all by myself! I finished the easement, and part of my neighbors easement. Then I headed to the front yard to finish the job.
My elderly neighbor, Mr. Roots, looked very confused that I was mowing the lawn instead of my husband (at the same time, my husband was outside in our laundry room washing and drying towels, we must of put this 80-something-year-old man through a loop). A few neighbors (men) saw me out mowing the lawn and proceeded to go to their own sheds and get their lawn mowers and start getting to work. Male egos can be easily manipulated by seeing a woman doing a “man’s job”. As I type I still hear lawn mowers cutting grass. I went ahead and cut the neighbors lawn next to my wood fence and finished our front lawn and easement, even though Richard pointed out (which I already knew) that it wasn’t our lawn. It’s okay to defy social norms and do a good deed at the same time.
I got myself good in the gut turning the lawn mower in the easement and really knocked the wind out of myself. In case you didn’t know, I live in south Florida, and even at 10:00 or 11:00AM the sun is brutal. I was thirsty and hot and sweaty and wanted to quit and let Richard finish the front by himself. I pushed forward because I know that this is an important lesson for my children.
It’s fine and well to use words to explain to your children how boys and girls aren’t very much different besides their anatomy and that girls can be strong and boys aren’t the only ones capable of “hard” work. It’s a whole different level when you are physically showing them; leading by example. The feeling of satisfaction after completing my task, and the knowledge that my kids saw me do something (yes, they watched- they wanted to!) they thought only their Father could, is by far one of the most satisfying and invigorating feelings on this Earth.
I can do dishes, I can fold laundry. I can change diapers and make bottles. I can vacuum, mop, and cook. I CAN MOW THE LAWN, TOO.
I AM SUPER-MOM, HEAR ME ROAR.
Stephanie Farrell is a 24-year-old stay-at-home-mom and manager of a five-person family. She is a mother two three beautiful children and a wife to a supportive husband. Raised in South Florida, she enjoys making homemade jewelry, gardening, and having fun with her family.