Today at A Practical Wedding, there’s a Reclaiming Wife post about how babies don’t ruin your marriage.
We still go out to places, just the two of us, but I’ll admit that it’s more rare. Don’t get me wrong—we go to all of the same places we used to, we just usually lug along the little one (they’re portable). Cute cafes or fancy restaurants aren’t off limits—just grab an outdoor table and push up the stroller. So, when we do go just the two of us, the rare-ness makes it extra special—in an “absence makes the heart grow fonder” kind of way.
Sure, babies are gonna change your marriage—but I don’t see why everyone acts like the changes are bad. Just like a big move or competing work schedules or anything else that might occupy your time, it’s just one more reason to focus on really making an effort with one another.
I think this is definitely a good perspective to think about, but I agree with several of the commenters on the post: Sure, things don’t have to change too much when the kid isn’t walking at all, but what about when the kid is a toddler or, worse, a teenager? I really do think having a baby does change everything, whether you want it to or not. That’s not to say that babies ruin marriages. I don’t think that’s true at all. If anything, I’d think babies can make a marriage stronger because you are able share a different kind of bond. However, it seems a little bunnies-and-roses to say that having a baby just makes everything more perfect and there’s no added stress to your marriage. What about nighttime feedings, colic, packing up literally everything you own just to take your baby to grandma’s down the street? And I’m sure I’m just hitting the tip of the iceberg here.
While I think it’s definitely important to talk about how love and excitement can remain if you make the effort after having a baby, I also think it’s naive to think nothing really changes all that much.
What do you think?