In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been on hiatus for a few days. You know you missed me; you can just admit it.
For those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter or other social networking sites, you may not know that I am now engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I’m biased, but that’s ok.
So, I have started the planning and the list-making and the budgeting and the thinking that comes along with being newly-engaged and, while Las Vegas is seeming like a seriously viable option (I kid), I’ve made the decision to have a relatively traditional wedding, despite the feminist implications, and I’m pretty excited about it. When I was discussing this with the lovely Amanda, I mentioned that I felt a little strange about seeing weddings through a feminist lens and noticing all of the patriarchal things within weddings but giving that up in favor of a traditional ceremony and reception, she reminded me that feminism isn’t about doing everything differently, but about having the choice to do what you want. And I have chosen to be more traditional than not, but I can’t help but notice some interesting intersections of a traditional wedding and my feminist beliefs.
So far, here’s what I have. With commentary, of course.
1. I have a diamond ring. I am biased, again, but it is probably the most beautiful diamond ring I’ve ever seen. When I was in the process of picking out rings, my brother said to me that he was surprised I wanted a diamond, but then he recanted that statement and called me a “traditional feminist.” I’ve held on to that term ever since. I do understand the political and social issues involved with buying diamonds, but the truth is, it meant something to Tim for him to buy me a diamond. And it definitely meant something to me, and it was personal on both counts.
2. I want the dress. You all know the dress I’m talking about: That beautiful white one that makes you feel like a princess and makes you look busty and skinny all at the same time. Yea, that one. Movies should be giving young girls more female rolemodels that aren’t just princesses, but it’s OK to feel like a princess on this day, I think.
3. I want my mother and father to give me away. This could be seen as feminist or not so feminist, considering I want my mom and my dad to walk me down the aisle, but I do understand the historical implications of being given away as more or less a piece of property. I, however, see it as being their child that they have guided through life and now they are guiding me into my new life.
OK, I’m getting a little choked up reading this. I am so girly. I’ll probably be blogging a bit about this for the next year or so because it (along with my master’s thesis on feminist blogging) will be consuming my life. But now it’s your turn. You know you’ve thought about it! What has been, is, or will be part of your perfect feminist or not so feminist wedding?